The Relationship Challenges Of Thor
It cannot be easy being an Asgardian thunder god. There are the ever-present threats from the Ice Giants, the fact that your brother Loki is, well, challenging – and also that Asgard itself seems to have a dearth of suitable female partners. This is not to say that Thor Odinson is not willing – be frank, he seems to be someone who wears his heart of his sleeve. He has also neatly sidestepped the restrictions on his access to women across the Rainbow Bridge in the past.
He has, in the past, turned to the mortal realm for companionship. Not always with the most spectacular of results, it must be noted. It’s unlikely that he’s not getting action – after all, he has been around for centuries and does apparently have a large “hammer” – but he seems to make some fairly puzzling choices when it comes to potential marriage material.
Let’s take a closer look. A voyeuristic examination if you will – although said like that it does seem a bit “tacky.”
But forge ahead we will.
Thor and Jane Foster
Thor’s relationship with this Earthbound lady has been a mainstay of his tenure is the God of Thunder. He seems to be pulled towards her undeniable sexual magnetism. But his compass may be a bit faulty. She was provided with the powers of a Goddess by Thor’s seemingly matchmaking father – only to lose those powers when Odin had a bit of a meltdown. They’re currently on the outs – but it’s a good bet he’ll be revisiting that relationship soon.
Thor and Sif
Then there is Sif. Odin’s choice. Not mortal – but that didn’t exactly go as planned. She soon tried being a mortal seeing as this seemed to be Thor’s type – but alas and alack the Thunder god’s pesky infatuation with Jane put paid to the relationship with the Asgardian hottie.
Thor and Amora the Enchantress
Another possibly ill-conceived fling on the part of Thor. This may be because she keeps trying to damage him physically, or cast spells to encourage his devotion. It was never going to work out. In an alternate timeline, they did get married and there was a son involved and etc. But Thor, possibly with the advice of an immortal marriage counselor, traveled back in time and gave the younger version himself a stern talking to in order to prevent a catastrophic mistake possibly involving Asgardian alimony payments.
Thor’s Other Flings & Crushes
There have been others. Brunnhilde the Valkyrie. Roz Solomon the Shield graduate. The issue seems to be Odin in all honesty. Every time his son is romantically disappointed dear old Dad erase the memories of the female player in the relationship. This is not contributing to the stability and longevity of his romantic efforts. Perhaps Dad should stop the helicopter parenting shtick.
Will Thor Get Married?
So the question still remains. Will Thor settle down and get married? If he does, will he have a dad bod? Time will tell. But if he wants to improve his chances, he’ll need to leave Asgard. Maybe he’ll be able to go back for the wedding. I wonder who Thor would pick as his Asgard wedding photographer? Good thing he has this site to guide him 😉